What Is This Feeling?
by AssasinZAssasin
Summary: Lightning was wondering what Hope meant with those words he had said to Vanille, 'It makes me happy, when you smile'. She breaks down upon thinking that Hope had left her for Vanille...And who else but Hope becomes the one to comfort her?


**Authors Notes**

**I'm really nervous…This is my first time writing in third person, so I decided to try on a one-shot.**

**Oh, and this story is kind of a cliché…But I just did this to try out third person, so if you like, my future works might be third person too!**

**Special Thanks to Darkgirl5 for giving me some pointers on third person…And of course, all my readers too! This story is for you guys!**

**So…Reviews please? This was going to be a short story, and I intended it to be short, but it evolved into some kind of long story, topping 1k words! And it's in third person, a totally new concept to me… Though, it's mostly just exaggerating the same thing, and that's probably why it topped so many words, and I apologize if it seems endless or just plain boring…**

**And, kindly support my community, just go to the main page for FF XIII, go to communities and find 'Hope X Light'. Thanks a lot for your support all this way!**

**Hope you enjoy this corny, cliché story!**

**This takes place after Vanille and Hope were chatting in Gran Pulse…And Lightning was wondering what that one sentence Hope had said, meant…**

_What Is This Feeling?_

_**Could it be jealousy? **_

_**Or is it just me…Longing for Love?**_

That was what Lightning thought, but she could not be sure.

What caused this dilemma? Lightning asked herself while fighting back the urge to face-palm herself.

Apparently, it happened when Lightning witnessed Hope and Vanille 'Flirting'. 'It makes me happy, when you smile…' Lightning felt like throwing up.

It was a long journey through Pulse, and everyone decided to stop here for the night. And it was at that moment Lightning decided to go inside her tent, claiming that she was 'tired' from today's journey. Truth was, she was just pondering that ONE sentence Hope said to Vanille…

'It makes me happy, when you smile…' Was what he said, word for word. What did he mean by that…? Does he…Like Vanille? Like, as in…Romantically? Lightning felt her head would just explode from all this thinking and wondering.

She just sighed and tucked herself into bed…For some reason, the bed felt empty, and kind of cold. At times like this, Lightning would fondly remember back to that one time where she was resting and Hope just thought it was a good idea to sleep next to her while leaning on her shoulder. Lightning would never admit it, but she secretly enjoyed it…The warmth he emitted while he was sleeping…

No longer…He's probably more interested in Vanille now...

Lightning sighed out loud.

"I should probably get to sleep…" Lightning muttered to herself.

She lay down and tried her best to fall asleep….But it was no use. Sleep would not claim her, nor comfort her. She got back up, muttering darkly about insomnia.

Lightning gripped her head in frustration. That one line Hope said to Vanille just kept repeating itself in her head. 'It makes me happy when you smile.' Just keeps repeating itself.

"Why her…and not me?" was what Lightning found herself saying.

She gripped her chest and stifled a sob.

Why is this happening to me? She thought, why am I feeling this way…?

Lightning just couldn't help but feel this way… She had felt particularly close to Hope since she promised to protect him…But now, she felt…Unneeded. It pained her to think this way, but…Sometimes, It's just better to let go, no matter how painful it may be…

She was 7 years his senior…It would never work out even if the feeling was mutual, so maybe, maybe it was better to just let him and Vanille be. Lightning figured she was overthinking the issue, but she just couldn't help it.

Lightning felt she had to let go, let go of….Hope. At this point, she was sobbing openly. However, it was soft enough that no one outside could hear unless their hearing was superbly sharp.

How could she lose to her inner feelings? Lightning Farron, the woman who single-handedly tried to take down a Fal'Cie, trying to overthrow the Sanctum… Overcome by her own emotions? It was unfathomable…But true.

Love…Something she hadn't felt since her parents died. She became a cold and distant person, all for Serah.

It was alright to say she loved Hope, because they made a mutual promise of protecting each other, therefore providing each other love and protection isn't wrong, is it? However, just what kind of 'Love' does she feel for this boy named Hope Estheim?

Was it motherly love? Or was it….Love?

Lightning knelt on the floor… Still crying softly.

It was the first time she had ever felt this way, and she felt sad that Hope, her 'First'… did not have mutual feelings for her… It pained her that she would never get to experience…Happiness, together with her love… Hope Estheim… A young boy at the age of 14, whom she had fallen in love with… The first person, who she had ever felt this way about…

"Light? Are you still awake?" A voice penetrated the thick air of sadness surrounding Lightning Farron.

A young boy with silver hair and sparkling emerald green eyes entered her tent. He seemed worried.

"I was worried when you didn't come out to eat…And I heard you were really tired so I decided to…" He stopped mid-sentence as he realized that Lightning was not listening…She was still zoned out.

In her world, she was running after Hope, begging him to wait for her…But he never stopped. He held hands with Vanille and just…Walked further on ahead…. And the next thing she knew, she was at a chapel, and Hope and Vanille were together at the altar… Hope was putting a ring on Vanille's finger….

"Hope…Why, why did you leave me…?" Lightning croaked.

Hope just furrowed his eyebrows, he had no idea what was going on…All he knew was that something was wrong with Lightning.

He walked over in front of her and snapped his fingers. "Hey, Light! Are you there?" he spoke softly.

Lightning was still unresponsive, tears still streaming down her face… Hope started to get really worried, wondering how to make her respond to him. He entertained the thought of calling for help, but thought better of it. Seeing as Lightning must be going through an emotional moment now, it's best to leave her alone.

Then again, Hope made a promise with her…To protect her, from physical or emotional scars and wounds. So he made up his mind that he would help her no matter what. Hope took Lightning by the shoulders and shook her back and forth…But she didn't respond.

"Lightning, Light! What's going on…?" Hope said, voice full of worry.

Lightning was still being plagued by pictures of Hope and Vanille, kissing, living a happy life together…Having a lot of kids while she lived her whole life…Alone.

Hope was seriously getting worried…Nothing he did would snap her out of it… 'Maybe if I did something drastic, she would snap out of it!' was his reasoning, and he decided to tease her.

"So, Light…If you don't answer me, I'm going to….Kiss you!" he emphasized at the end of the sentence.

Lightning, absorbed in her own thinking, did not hear what he said.

Hope had intended to shock her awake with what he said, but it didn't work.

"So, I guess I have to do it, huh?" he sucked in his breath, lifted Lightning's face so that it was level with his…And he connected his lips with hers.

It was a brief, quick kiss…But it was enough to shock Lightning back to reality.

'What…? What's going on…? What's this…This sensation on my lips…?' Lightning thought.

Then when she opened her eyes…She registered that Hope had indeed, kissed her.

He then pulled back and smiled. "I guess that did the trick, huh? Light…" he gave a silly little grin.

Lightning touched her lips in awe…

Hope just looked away and scratched his head. "You know, Light… If you ever had any problems, you know you can always come find me…."

He leaned closer to her and whispered, "You know I'll never leave you, Light…No matter what."

He smiled while Lightning just stared at him in awe.

He made to leave by standing up and attempting to walk out…But Lightning stood up and pulled him back.

She looked into his eyes solemnly and smiled sadly.

"You know, Hope…It's not very nice to steal someone's first kiss like that…And it's not all that romantic when you just kiss and 'Run'…" After saying that, Lightning pressed her lips to Hope's soft, pink ones.

Hope was shocked at the action at first, but eventually he just melted…Figuratively of course.

When they broke off, Hope smiled and held back a chuckle…

"I see, so that's how you REALLY feel, Light….Under that cold mask of yours, there is actually a warm hearted woman inside…." He smiled and chuckled.

Lightning just blushed and looked away…But she also smiled.

"But, you like Vanille, don't you? It was selfish of me to steal your first…" She was cut off by Hope laughing.

"Like her? Vanille? You're kidding me, Light! If you're referring to what I said this morning, then that was just a joke…" He turned serious at this point, and turned to look at Lightning...Eyes burning with determination. "The person who I truly like…The person who I truly love…Is you, Light." Hope said, with a shaky but firm voice.

Lightning was taken aback by that…She never expected it to turn out this way.

Hope looked down and his lips curved a little. "So, that was why you were so depressed…Don't worry, Light…The only person I'll ever love is you, and you alone. So…Will you wait for me? Just four years…Then I'll be more of a man…Someone who is actually worthy of you…" He turned serious halfway through his sentence, and punctuated the last line of his sentence.

Lightning smiled, and she held back tears as she sobbed.

"Of course I will wait for you, Hope."

They embraced and Hope couldn't help but smile.

"Light, I…love you…Just four more years, and I promise, I'll make it up to you. I'll make it up to you for making you cry…."

Lightning smiled while sobbing…

"You'd better…I'm holding you to that."

**Authors Notes**

**Damn, that was longer than I expected… hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm sure Hope did! Haha.**

**It was mostly exaggerating Lightning's thoughts on what transpired the morning before they set camp. I know it was long winded and overly exaggerated, but it was enjoyable to write this. And I never knew third-person was this enjoyable to write…**

**Thanks to you guys for supporting me all this way! Looking forward to your reviews!**


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